


It's called the Southern Accent Effect (SAE for short)

by SaRaH_BuG



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-21
Updated: 2013-09-01
Packaged: 2017-12-20 22:18:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/892539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaRaH_BuG/pseuds/SaRaH_BuG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just the classic idol journey (kradam style)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First impressions mean the most

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I should keep this going ;) comments=love!

"So...." Adam could make out the faint sound of brad jumping up and down on his bed " who is your roomie! I need ridiculously detailed details!"

Adam adored this man but sometimes he wished he had the ability to NOT have to stay best friends with is exes. "You do know that detailed details is redundant right?"

Adam was sitting on his bed on his side of the room. Bags still need to be unpacked, bed still needs to be made, but of course the first thing he did when he found his room was throw his shit on the ground, pull out his phone, and call brad. 

"That is so not the point here adam, I want to know about the man who will be sleeping in the same room as my boo for the next," brad paused in thought "how long does this idol thing last anyways? Oh whatever, it's not like he will last anywhere as long as you so-"

"Calm down sweetie, your talking a mile a minute" adam said. Interrupting a very excited brad is never a good idea so he added "plus I haven't met him yet, i don't know who they will put me with" for good measure.

"Okay well your top thirteen right?" Adam made a noise of agreement "what are the names of your prospective roommates then?"

Top thirteen just sounded so odd to him, I mean adam thought getting to Hollywood was a big deal, let alone top 36. Now he was this close (Adam mentally holds up two fingers indicating that he was about two centimeters away from top ten) to making the tour. After workings so hard to get to where he is now, adam feels, no matter how cliché, that he has already Won. But he hasn't really, and now that the end is in sight adam plans on making the most of it.

"Um... Danny, the church guy, Matt, the funny one, anoop, the college kid, Scott, the blind guy, Michael, the family man," he pauses for a moment counting off the numbers in his head " I'm drawing a blank on the other two"

"What about that kris guy? The cute one that looked like a more muscular, sweeter, and ridiculously less fabulous version of me? " brad said with what adam imagines is a wistful hand gesture. 

Kris. Right, the cute guy. But Also the married guy. Adam has never had the best gay-dar but the whole married thing seems like a well enough hint that kris should be wearing a stop sign on his face to detour the easily distracted gay men like adam away from him. 

Then, as if on queue, there is a knock on his door and a sweet southern accent asking permission to enter his room. 

"Come in" adam says to the door. 

When the door opens he sees a short little brown haired man wrapped in plaid. " Hi, uh, are you adam?" God! That voice, it does things to him that no voice ever should. 

"Who is it!" Brad squeaks in his ear "it's the cute one isn't it, I hear a twang in that voice hunny, no denying its your weakness" being from Texas himself, brad sure knows how to work his drawl, but it's nothing like Kris's. brad sound harsh and cynical when pulling out the accent, but Kris's voice rolls out of his mouth in such a fluid way that adam just wants to Bathe in it. 

"Yeah" adam replies to both men. Putting the phone between his shoulder and ear before reaching out to shake Kris's hand.

"Sorry are you on the phone?" Kris says as he hauls his two (two! How the hell does he only have two!) bags into the room and onto the other bed.

Adam can hear a faint "duh" come from the phone, so presumably brad, and is fully aware as he completely ignores it. "It's fine it's only brad" 

"Brother?" Kris asks and adam had to laugh at that. But not being in on the whole "what's funny thing" kris just stairs at him like he is crazy. 

"No. Oh god no!" Finally catching his breath, adam adds "ex turned best friend." 

"Ex?" Kris asks, then he can see the realization spread across his face. Along with a blush, and it's quite adorable he must add. "Oh" is all he says as he moves into the bathroom. 

With that adam bids his goodbye to brad and follows kris into the bathroom. (Don't freak out, the door was open, Adams not that perverted) walking up behind him he asks " is my being gay an issue? Because I can easily arrange for a new roommate" 

"What?" Kris looks genuinely confused for a second, then the same blush spreads across his face. "Oh, no it's fine, I'm not freaked out or anything, your just the first open gay guy I have met" kris rubs the back of his neck with his hand in an overtly nervous gesture.

"Really? That cool I guess, and don't worry I won't jump you in your sleep" adam adds a little wink and then asks what he is looking at in the bathroom of all places.

"I was trying to figure out what this thing is" kris said, pointing to something in the toilet 

"I think it's called a bidet" he replied. 

"What's that?"

Adam laughed and tried to think if a way to explain it " its like a sink, but for the other end" to prove his point he goes to turn it on. Instead of a little spray though, the water shoots up to the ceiling in a manner that's way to rough to be anything but a plumbing error. 

Adam quickly shuts it off and looks at a wide-eyed kris. "I don't think I'm going to use that..."

Then they both laughed until they cried.

Looking back, that was probably the moment Adam Lambert fell in love with Kris Allen.


	2. Kris shows his true colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kris can't help it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got bored and started to write more, so here we are! I can't say when the next chapter will be but with how much free time i have now it shouldn't take to long. Enjoy! Comments=love

Kris and adam became closer than all the other idols before either one even notices it. Only two days after meeting they already had inside jokes that no ones else could ever get, they sat next to each other at ever possible sitting, and not to mention the touching. 

Adam already knew he was a touchy person, and it became aperient quickly that kris was as well. From just little pats on the back all the way to falling asleep with Kris's head on Adams shoulder and Adams arm wrapped protectively around the smaller man.

Sometimes the other idols would ask if they knew each other before and they would simply shake their heads and try to individually hide their blushes. Speaking of blushing, adam made it his goal in life to make kris blush at least once an hour. But those were low standards considering the fact that you could just look at him a certain way and his face would burn. 

At one point Allison asked if he was part tomato. When kris shook his head no Matt joined in and said "I need proof man, I think alli is on to something" Matt stared at him for a second then said excitedly "I know!" He turned to address the other idols who had gathered around, " if he is a tomato he was born green, i need baby pictures stat!"

"Oh crap, look what you did Matt" Allison said through waves of laughter,"kris is going to catch on fire, we need water!"

Kris's face was red the rest if the day.

\---

The people on idol this season were fairly liberal for the most part, and adam was grateful for that. There was no way in hell he could stay in the closet around people he would be seeing everyday for weeks, maybe months depending on how far he got (and that would be pretty far if adam had anything to do with it). And even if he wanted to keep it a secret he is quite the queen, no matter how toppy, and that's just not something you can hide.

The only issue adam had with anyone was, here's a shocker, Mr.Self-riotous himself Danny Gokey. It wasn't like he was hiding it at first but he hasn't walked up to the man and said "Hi there I'm adam lambert, I'm 27 years old and I'm gay!" No. 

So when he was talking animatedly to brad one afternoon in the living room of the idol mansion, and he must admit that there was a bit of flirty talk going on but it was harmless, and Danny comes in. At first adam ignored him but the smirk on his face was starting to give him a rash (well that might be a bit exaggerated, but you get the point). So he told brad "one sec babe" then looked at Danny with one eyebrow raised in question. "Yes Danny, would you like to ask something or do you just enjoy starring at me? I get that I'm fine and all that jazz but it gets creepy after a while"

"I'm choosing to ignore the latter half if that statement because its the right thing to do" adam made little huff at that,"no question, i was just shocked to see you talking to a girlfriend is all."

"Girlfriend?" Adam asked then remembered brad on the phone. As if to make sure he noticed his existence brad yelled out,"girlfriend? Bitch that's an insult to me and Adams faggotry!" He laughed and replied to brad with,"Is faggotry even a word?"  
Then adam turned his attention back to Danny, who all the sudden looked like he smelt something bad. "This is Brad, my ex-boyfriend, not current girlfriend." 

Danny look disgusted, with a huff and making a show of crossing his arms said,"they didn't tell me I would be living with a faggot" 

Adam growled deeply and hung up on brad, making his way over to Danny. He was a good few inches taller so adam must have looked pretty intimidating."what did you call me, Gokey?"

Then in strides kris with a look of pure hatred on his face. He pulls adam back, he is stronger than he looks, and turns to Danny. 

But before kris can say what he is thinking Danny says,"thanks man I owe you, did you know your roommates a fag?" Kris hesitated at the words and how utterly blunt Danny was about saying them, which gave Danny time to add,"I would change rooms if i were you, he might rape you in your sleep." 

This time kris doesn't hesitate in the slightest. He punches him right square in the jaw. 

No one calls adam anything after that, especially Danny, though he does make a scene out of praying for Adam. 

To bad it's wrong to kick Someone's ass for praying.

\---

One week to the day after they met adam was sitting on his bed listening to his iPod. Not hearing the door open adam jumps when he hears kris address him. 

"Adam" 

"God! You scared me kris!" Adam sat up and pulled out his head phones.

"Oh sorry" kris isn't the MOST society awkward person adam knows, but he is pretty darn close. He was fidgeting more than normal though and looked like he needed to ask a question that would get him slapped. 

"What is it babe?"

Keeping true to his reputation, he blushed at the pet name," is it brad?" He asks, still fidgeting.

"Is who brad?"

Perking up a bit because adam didn't slap him for asking his question he replied,"in the pictures"

Sitting up a little straiter adam said,"what pictures?" 

"You haven't seen them?" kris asked, sounding shocked. When adam shook his head he added," hand me your laptop" 

Adam did so, though slightly reluctantly.

Kris booted up the laptop and went strait to google. Typing in "Ad" was all it took for "adam lambert kissing pictures" to pop up in the suggestion bar. 

Adams heart started to race as he watched kris click "images". The pictures that came up were defiantly of him and brad. He has never regretted Burning Man more in his life than that moment there. 

"Um, yeah that's defiantly brad" adam said breathlessly, answering Kris's previous question. 

Things adam expected kris to say:  
Gross, why did you take those?  
Eww, you look like such a fag.  
Oh my god, I will pray for your soul.

What adam DIDN'T expect kris to say: Wow, that's kinda hot.

And what did kris say? 

"Dude, brad is kinda sexy" 

Adams mouth dropped open and he stared at an unblushing, smirking kris. "What did you just say?" He just had to check and make sure his crush wasn't making him hear things. 

"I said brad is kinda sexy, what just because I'm not gay doesn't mean I cant appreciate sexiness" kris said defensively, then in a more kidding manor,"plus he kinda looks like me" 

"Are you calling yourself sexy, Allen?" Adam said trying to recover from the strait married Christian calling his Twinkie ex-boyfriend sexy,"that's a little cocky don't you think?"

He knew as soon as the word left his mouth that the retort was coming but that helped absolutely nothing. 

"But lambert, I thought you liked cock."

Hearing that word and seeing it pass through those lips with that accent was to much.

It was Adams turn to blush.


	3. Country music sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Country music sucks and kris is a cat. Interpret that however you wish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now have a plan for this story. As of now the idol journey can be seen as a prequel to what I want this to be. So for now I will probably be adding daily Drabble size chapters, but that may change later on once I really get into the plot. Thank you for reading, this is my first fic and I would love some reviews! Comments=love

Adam wants to strangle the person who invented country music. The only saving grace for adam was possibly changing up an arrangement, and even then he will have to live down brad mocking him for all eternity. 

He wanted to laugh at the song choices: ain't going down till the sun comes up. Really? Really! He would have to let Michael know about that one. Then Something caught Adams eye. Ring of fire. He had heard a few renditions of this song that he knew he could work the shit out of. Plus, Johnny Cash was cool guy. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. 

Adam was Laying on his bed humming different tunes and checking out instrumentals when kris looked over and asked,"so what country song what is glam rocker adam lambert singing?"

Rolling his eyes adam replied,"ring of fire" he got up and moved over to kris with the instrumental he had chosen. Hitting play, he began to hum with it and half sing parts. 

"Ohhhh, that could be hot!" Kris said, looking kinda dazed,"I bet it pisses off simon." He then physically moved adam next to him so he could curl around him.

"You know when you do that it reminds me of a cat" adam starred down at the little man in plaid pajama pants and begged to universe to let Katy be a lie. Seriously, how kris isn't gay is an utter mystery to him. "And no pussy jokes"

Adam could more feel Kris's laugh than hear it."I get cuddly when I'm tired" he mumbled.

"You get cuddly all the time"

"But ya know ya like et" kris kinda half slapped him uselessly.

He noticed that his accent comes out more when he is In that half asleep half awake purgatory. "Your Arkansas is showing sweetie" he said,"you know southern is my weakness, be careful, I might ravage you"

"Be careful adam, your gay is showing" 

Adam chuckled "My gay is always showing"

Kris kinda looked up at him and mumbled something that sounded like  
"Plus, that might not be to bad"

Adam choses to ignore that.

\---  
Randy Travis. Oh fun times indeed.

He hasn't seen a man wearing fingernail before? Sheltered much?

Thank god he only had to talk to him briefly or he might have given the man an earful of "Equality talk" and no one wants to hear that from a bitchy gay guy. 

\--- 

Well simon hated it. 

Kris should really go into gambling because that was a really great prediction. Seriously. It was.

Well fuck simon, kris loved it, and apparently that's all that matters to adam now. In fact all the other idols loved it. He came off stage feeling down because apparently his performance was "indulgent rubbish" (he mentally adds a mock British accent). Then a bright red bombshell attacks him. 

"Adam that was soooo great" alli said jumping up and down. 

There are murmurs of agreement and pats on the pack. Then kris walks up and hugs Him tightly,"simon hated it just like you said" adam whispers in his ear. 

Kris pulls back and smiles,"and it was hot, just like I said"

Yeah, fuck simon.


	4. Blow jobs are better than guitar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Drabble-sized chaper. Hey, at least I'm posting very quickly.   
> Comments=love!

The first time adam sees kris drunk is quite the trip. The idol gang (minus a very upset alli, considering her age) decided to go out drinking after the top 9 elimination to help say goodbye to Megan. That's where adam learns kris is a lightweight.

With him already being a touchy person, the alcohol basically turns him into a monkey that thinks adam is a tree. It's cute in a kinda sad way. 

"I like your face" kris slurs as adam is physically hauling him up the stairs, because apparently vodka turns cute souther boys into jello,"seriously, it's like-," he pauses dramatically because this is some kind of huge revelation,"a really nice face"

Throwing kris onto the bed he says," thank you, now it's time to go to sleep and hope that your head doesn't explode when you wake up," kris stairs at him in horror for a minute before adam realizes that drunk people aren't the most witty and elaborates,"hangovers are a bitch to get over"

A wave of relief floods Kris's face. He then proceeds to strip out of his shirt and pants. Pulling back the comforter and sheets he crawls in. "Want to join me?"

"I don't think that's a good idea sweetie, your wife might not approve" he hoped that mentioning Katy would stop kris from asking again cause he wasn't sure he could say no to an almost naked kris twice.

"Wife?" He asks, a look of confusion on his face. 

"Katy" adam reminds him. Wow he must be more drunk than adam thought.

"Oh her." Kris then reaches under the Sheets and pulls off his boxers, throwing them at Adams horrified, and very aroused face."she wouldn't mind"

"What the hell," adam shrieks and steps away from where Kris's underwear landed like its on fire.

"I don't wear cloths to sleep when I'm drunk" he says like its the most normal statement ever. Then, looking slightly defeated, he rolls over and falls asleep just like that. 

Adam adds "sleeps naked when drunk" to his metaphorical "things adam didn't expect about kris" list. 

Lets just say sleep didn't come easy that night for adam.

\---

Trying to teach adam guitar is like trying to- well trying to do something that's not humanly possible. It starts off nice enough, the two of them sitting on Kris's bed, guitar in hand. 

"Okay so you simply put your hands here," kris moves Adams hands to where to should go,"and strum"

Adam tries. He really does, but it's harder than it looks and kris is very distracting. With his Hands, oh god his hands, and the muscles moving Beneath that horrid plaid shirt that hides way to much. If adam could he would pass a law to prevent him form wearing anythings that obscures his body from being seen in all it's glory. 

By the time that thought is gone so is his patience. Kris tries a few more times to show him what to do with his hands but all he can think about is where he WISHES he could put his hand, and he would know exactly what to do with them once they are there. He finally gives up, telling kris it's not his fault, he just couldn't pay attention. Which wasn't a lie. 

So sex is the reason adam cant play guitar. Interesting. 

Things adam can't do:   
play guitar   
Cook  
Listen to Danny Gokey sing, or talk, or breathe, without wanting to throw up

Things adam CAN do:   
Sing like a rock god  
Get simon cowell on his feet  
Kiss like he was born to do it  
Give the best blow job you've ever had 

Yeah, the good defiantly out ways the bad. If only for the blow jobs.

\---

Adam starts to notice things about Katy and Kris's relationship. First if all, kris never mentions her, like at all. The only time he ever hears her name is when someone else brings her up in conversation. Then there are the phone calls. When they talk its like best friends, not a married couple. And he hears his name a lot. Adam is like their main point of conversation. Literally. Like, he hears his name, then a muffled giggle, most likely from Katy, and the ever so present blush makes its way into Kris's face.

When he finally gets to meet her it's not anything like he expected, granted that's what he says about kris all the time so nothing should really shock him anymore.

She's got prom queen and head cheerleader written all over her with the golden hair, perfect smile, and flawless skin. "Oh my god there you are!" Katy says, dragging a tomato that look suspiciously like kris behind her,"I have wanted to meet you soooo much, kris talks about you all the time." She points to the tomato beside her whom adam has decided is, in fact, kris.

"Oh really" adam asks, an eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face,"good things I hope." 

"Oh always"she says,"he tells me stories all the time..." Katy goes on to tell him about all the things kris has said. 

When she mentions the "sleeps naked drunk" thing adam adds,"yeah that's on my list of things I didn't expect about kris" 

"What else is on this list of yours" Katy asks sliding up next to him. 

"We'll for starters he thinks pictures of me kissing my ex boyfriend are "sexy"" he adds air quotes around the word sexy. 

He thinks he sees a little secretive look between kris and Katy at that but he chooses to ignore it if only to keep his sanity.

"I think this may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship" Katy says, wrapping her arm around Adams. She leads him away from a slack jawed, half tomato half kris, who looks like a deer in headlights.

Anyone who can make kris look like that is a great person in Adams books. 

"Yes, a beautiful friendship indeed."


	5. Secrets secrets secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kris's secret is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't expecting anyone to read this so thank you guys for sticking with me through these small chapters. Comments=love

Kris was excited that Matt got to stay but that meant two people going home and he knew alli, adam, Matt, and sadly Danny wouldn't be going home based on their rabid fans. Not that kris expected to win, he just wanted more time with ad-. No! Stop that, he thinks your a strait Married Christian. Adams to good of a person to be a part of someone cheating, even if it wasn't really cheating. 

It was times like these were kris regretted telling people he was married. When Katy agreed to be his beard he was shocked. The only reason he even did it was so he wouldn't be "the gay guy on idol." Well it seems Adams covered that base. 

Now he is the strait married guy on idol and adam is too much of a good guy to mess with that. Kris just wanted to lay down and wallow in self-pity. 

"So who's your money on?" Allison asked as kris made his way up the stairs to his and Adams room.

"For what?" He so wasn't in the mood for cryptic messages.

"The double elimination." She replied. "With Matt still here who do you think is going? I'm hoping for Danny and Anoop." 

"I agree about Danny, but if any of us want a chance at winning than adam needs to go." He laughed off the last part to show he was joking.

Alli bumped his shoulder to show that she got it but added,"you love him to much for that" anyways"

"Yeah" kris said with an undeniably dreamy look on his face.

She stopped walking and looked him right in the eyes, which wasn't hard considering his height. "Oh my god! Oh! My! God!"

Kris shushed her multiple times but finally gave up and pulled her into his room and locked the door. Alli made her way to Adams empty bed and tried her hardest to suppress the giggles."you really do love him!"

"Alli be quiet! Someone might hear," he tried to sound sound angry but failed miserably,"yeah, I really do." It was like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders, then he collapsed next to alli. He smiled because the bed smelled like adam.

"Smells like adam? Wow you've got it bad boy" 

Shit. He really needs to learn not to say whatever comes to mind. 

"What about Katy?" She asked when he didn't say anything.

"She's my beard" he replied, hey he might as well tell her everything. 

"What's a beard?" 

"When a gay guy or girl dates or poses to date someone of the opposite sex to look strait."

Alli looks thoughtful for a minute,"when a gay guy.... Your gay!" she yells,"oh wait till adam hears-"

"No! You can tell anyone" kris says seriously, getting down on his knees in front of her.

"Fine," she said, then the playful glint came back Into her eyes,"shouldn't you be on your knees for adam, not me" 

Kris laughed like that was the funniest thing in the world. He knew his secret was safe with alli.

\---


	6. Jesus loves you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kris finds something interesting and brad gets suspicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments=love

"Hey man do you want me to do some of your cloths? I was just about to wash mine." Kris asked adam who was talking on the phone, probably to brad.

"One sec Hun," adam replied, defiantly brad,"such the domestic" when he was satisfied with Kris's blush he added,"yeah thanks man, it over there" he then dove back into his conversation with the queen bitch before her majesty got offended.

After Grabbing the cloths he was directed to kris made his way to the washer. Something catches his eye, it's a pair of underwear with something written on it. Adams. He picked them up hesitantly to read it.

They were bright pink and Written on the ass was : "Jesus loves me." 

"Oh god!" Kris laughed and sunk down to the ground on the wall opposite the washer. Kris knew adam was odd but this is just flat out hilarious.

Danny must have heard him cause by the time he caught his breath and started to stand up Danny was right there. 

"What are you laughing at?" He asked.

"None of your business Danny" kris didn't want to be rude but Danny just brought out his inner bitch. 

"Whatever, tell your boyfriend I said hi," he laughed and looked at the clothes,"when you get done doing his cloths that is." Then he just walked off. 

ignoring the urge to go after him kris simply finished up the clothes. Minus that particular pair of undies.

\---

Talking to brad was always interesting but sometimes it was best to let him do the talking and just agree when necessary. This was not one of those times. He was all questions and snide comments tonight.

"Well are you sure he's strait? I mean you could basically prove his gayness in court with the evidence you've collected." Brad said seriously, like that might actually happen. Then again brad did know some people....

"Well If he were gay why would he be married to miss prom queen?" Adam asked.

"Well maybe she is his beard?"

"Beard? They are married brad, it's not like he is just lying about some random girlfriend." Seriously, all this kradam shit is starting to get to him.

"Have you seen a Marriage cirtificate?" 

Adam shifted uncomfortably.

"brad..." He said warningly.

"I'm just saying, you said he basically forgets about her when ya get some vodka in him" brad said,"don't say it adam! You know it's not about cheating, you said it yourself that he would never do that!"

"Fine, fine, okay for arguments sake lets say your right, why would he do that?" He was genuinely confused.

"I don't know, tell me if this rings a bell, "I just don't want to be they gay guy on idol." Maybe be didn't want that stigma." Brad did have a point.

\---

Kris made his way back to the room, underwear in hand. He really wanted brad on the phone for this conversation, he of all people might get a kick out if it. He could hear them still talking when opened the door but it stopped as soon as he walked in.

"I gotta go brad-" adam started but kris cut him off.

"No wait I want him to hear this" 

A small bitchy voice added,"and the plot thickens." 

"Shut up"adam then proceeded to give the phone a death glare that could probably kill if harnessed correctly.

"Put away that death glair babe, your face might freeze that way" brad said, more loudly this time. Adam had put him on speaker. Rolling his eyes he said defeatedly,"you know me way too well."

Adam was right. Brad did know him very well. A pang of what kris could only identify as jealousy hit him. Hard. He could only hope to know adam that well some day. 

Only brad saying,"okay what's up krissy" brought him back to real life.

"Oh nothing.." Kris grinned,"I just found something interesting while doing Adams laundry"

"Oh so domestic" brad sounded excited, copying what adam said earlier. 

Adam on the other hand looked nervous,"what was it?"

"Ooo I know! I know" kris could practically see brad raising his hand," was it the thong? Or the lace panties?"

Adam looked utterly horrified. "I- uh, those aren't- oh my god I can't beli-" he rambled. 

In what can only be seen as an act of great mercy brad said,"oh shut up and let the boy say what he was going to say, go on hunny" as If the permission was necessary.

Adam promptly shut up.

"Thank you brad, and no I didn't find any thongs or panties, though now I might have to do some detective work to fine those," brad laughed at that,"I just stumbled upon something interesting... Tell me adam, just how much does Jesus love you?" He held up the briefs in question. 

High pitched laughter filled the room. 

"I can't believe you kept those things! Sutan have you them as a joke!" Then he laughed some more. 

Once adam recovered from the embarrassment a little he hung up on brad after a quick "fuck you" from adam and a "love you too bitch" from brad.

Kris was still holding the Jesus underwear. Looking over, all signs of Shame gone, adam said,"Those things were dirty for a reason" 

That's when kris noticed the wet stain in the front. Adam just grinned, grabbed the briefs, and walked off with a wink.

Well shit.

\---


	7. "Constently screwed over: the Kris Allen story"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama drama drama!

Kris was lying on his bed listening to the "Angry" playlist on his iPod.

He was mad.

"Are you mad?" Adam asked.

Adam knows him way too well.

"Not at you, I'm just pissed I have to share a stage with Danny" kris replied. He really wasn't mad. Nope. Not at all. And yes, da Nile IS just a river in Egypt. 

"If you say so." 

Kris sighed heavily,"I mean rock week is bad enough by its self but singing with Danny is the preverbal icing one the cake of misery." 

Adam laughed,"Dramatic much?"

Kris returned the laughter "Your one to talk Mr. Theater queen."

"I'm just saying, I mean your a glass half full kinda guy right?" Kris nodded,"so just look at it as a chance to show up that asshole with your killer vocals." 

"What killer vocals? I think the universe left the lid unscrewed on the "killer vocals jar" when you were made and accidentally emptied it all on you. That doesn't leave much for the rest of us." Kris has actually thought of that metaphor before hand. He put a lot if work Into it.

Adam ignored the use of the word "universe" instead of "God". "I think the universe can make a new jar if it wanted. The killer vocals are just hiding behind those plaid shirts, too scared to be seen in them."

"I have done your laundry you know, and I'm pretty sure I've seen some plaid in there." He had.

Adams eyes grew big and he looked around as If to check if anyone has heard him. Then he quickly jumped over to kris's bed and covered his mouth,"shhhh! Some one with fashion sense might hear you!"

So close. His lips were so close. Just lean forward.... Stop! No you can't think these things adam! He is a married man! Just because he forgets her when he's drunk doesn't mean she doesn't exist. With an awkward laugh adam moved back over to his own bed. 

Kris being kris was able to break the awkwardness with a simple,"if anyone can make plaid work it would be you."

Adam laughed, more from the relief than the comment its self, and said,"Yeah, your right," then in his best stereotypical gay voice,"I would look Fabulous!"

Yeah....He would.

 

~~~

 

Kris was sitting in the living room talking to Katy on the phone while adam was out, Danny was eating and alli was in the shower. It was one of those rare alone moments that occur when the planets align in the idol universe. She was nagging him about what they have nicknamed "Operation Capture Glambert" (OCG in public).

"I don't know kris, maybe you should tell him." Katy said.

"He would hate me! Theres no way I could tell him yet, I will after the competition but doing it now would just be wrong." 

"It might be too late then and you know it. The longer you wait the thinker the plot gets, and we have seen plenty of chick flicks so you know that's NOT a good thing. Like. Ever."

"We'll what am I supposed to say, Katy? "Hey adam by the way me and Katy aren't really married, im gay, oh yeah and I am in love with you too" that is the kind of announcement that would give a guy a heart attack!"

"Whatever kris, I will tell you what's going to happen now okay? One, I am going to hang up. Two, your going to figure your shit out because your a grown man who should be able to handle his own love life. See ya krissy!" And with that she hung up. Fuck Katy. Oh Eew gross never mind. Vagina. Kris mentally shutters.

"Your a fag too?" Kris turns around so fast he is shocked he didn't get whiplash. Danny was standing there with disgusted look on his face,"No wonder you punched me for calling the other one that." 

Of all people kris thought he would be on his knees for the last one was Gokey. (Not in that way you pervert). He begged him not to tell anyone. 

"Oh I won't tell anyone IF...." He left the statement hanging in the air with a smug look on his face 

"If...." Kris repeated.

"If you throw the duet. Sing so bad that they ignore you and praise me."

Shit, kris thought, I should write a book about my life. I bet it would make a great soap opera, or life time move. Yeah that sounds about right. "Constantly screwed over: the kris allen story" he can see it now. People eat that depressing shit up.

 

~~~

Fuck Danny Gokey! Fuck him and his ugly glasses and smug face! 

The duet went so bad he wanted to cringe (and did internally) at the thought. Like promised kris threw it and the judges were to busy praising Danny to even tell kris just how bad he was. And bad he was. Like if the writer of the dictionary had been in attendance he would have ran home just to glue a picture of him singing this song over the definition of the word "Bad". 

Coming off stage was such a relief, adam was standing there with open arms and even a snide comment from Danny couldn't penetrate the Aura of comfort adam emitted. He looked over his tall shoulder to see alli looking at him with great sympathy and right now he relished it. Everything would be okay as long as adam was there, his life line.

Neither adam or Allison asked what was wrong, they simply comforted him then made there own way on stage. 

Kris would be okay. Adam has his back, and his front, and top, and bottom (kris blushed at the thought).   
Yeah Danny Gokey can go to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments=<3


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